I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
