Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
