marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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