he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I am mentally ready for anal.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
