Is it normal to miss your booty call?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
