I'm gonna have a badass scar
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
