YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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