Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
