i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
