If i come over, it means nothing
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
