that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
