There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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