win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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