I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
