i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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