I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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