From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
