There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize