My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
