Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
