Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
