we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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