im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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