no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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