This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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