HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
