he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
