She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
