Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
