I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
