I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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