I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
