normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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