At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
