I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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