Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
