haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
