I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
