After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
