u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
