I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
