i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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