i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I forget how to act sober
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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