yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
