mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
