i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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