That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You smell like stripper and shame
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
