Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
