your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize