In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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