Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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