Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
