i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
