From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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