I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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