I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
