please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
