Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
