Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
