I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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