Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
