nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
