so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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