yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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